Vivavini

"Vivacious-Erudite-Personified"

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day


When I came drenched in the rain,

My brother told, “Why don’t you take an umbrella with you?”,
My sister said, “Why didn’t you wait till it stopped?”,
My dad angrily said, “Only after catching a cold, will you realize.”.

But my MOTHER, as she was drying my hair with her saree,

was shouting

not at me


. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . But at the RAIN.


But no, in real life my mom wasn’t like the above mentioned mom. She took care of me no doubt but she would never wipe my head with her saree, instead she’s get the towel and thus teach me that each utility/luxury/item in life has its particular use and we should use it for just that.

Well, you see my mom, Mrs. Ranajan Chhabra a graduate, was a very different mom than the normal Indian moms. If I ever had a fight with the other kids, it was I who’d get the scolding and not the other children, whereas other children’s parents would readily scold me instead of scolding their own child. L I would question her with tears in my eyes, but I obviously didn’t understand then; she was teaching me to take responsibility of my actions. In her own subtle ways, she taught me the ways of life.

I still remember I would pester her to become a working mom. It sounded so cool, when in school my friends told me that their moms were working and they’d have their own keys to their house and they’d go back home and be by themselves. Wow! They could watch TV, play games, their life sounded their own and not ruled by moms. But one day when I came back home and mom wasn’t there at home I realized, I had to have my lunch by myself alone, I could watch TV but it wasn’t interesting anymore, I had to finish my homework by myself, I missed mom. I questioned my mom on her return and she said that it was just one day when she’d gone out, if she were working, she’d be out 6 days a week. I never asked my mom to be a working mom after that.

She taught me to forgive and forget, she’s forgiven me for unaccountable unforgivable nuisances, well you see, I wouldn’t describe myself anything less than a problem child, and my mom had her hands full with me. Individuals who know me today may find it difficult to believe but as a child I hated my studies, I loved going to school, hated getting up early though, loved maths, loved climbing trees, loved cycling, loved short hair, hated jewelry, hated eating food, etc., etc. But mom handled it all, and yet let me be myself. The perfect eg of this would be that my mom’s a fantastic cook but I never took interest in cooking, and though she’d remind me that it would be difficult for me after my marriage, she allowed me to have my say in that matter.

All said and done I never realized the efforts she put in for me till I was to get married. I’ve always adored my dad, and appreciate him for making me the individual I am. And I felt that since my mom was a quite conservative, she didn’t understand me and our generation. But this thought vanished into thin air when I fell in love and she understood my love for Mahen. This new phase of my life made me see the other side of her, I saw her care in her worries, and the love in the things she did for me, her insights in her advice.

When Ira was born In 2000 Dad was posted in Roha, a place 3 hours run from Vashi. Therefore our Shivalik (Vashi) house was rented away and we had just kept the master bedroom with its 2nd entry door as a stopover location whenever required. It had an attached bathroom and a balcony. When Ira was born in 2004, mom lived alone in that single room for a month. She’d catch a bus to Nerul (my place), help me out with Ira and household chores, and in the evening catch a bus a get back to the lone room, all this to help me in the transition of becoming a mother from a woman.

I haven’t been very easy on her even as an adult, and many a times have been harsh and blunt in pointing out her mistakes. Yet she honors me by listening to all my advices and appreciates me for them if they turn out to be right. She accepts that she finds it difficult to change herself but she puts every effort to do so. She teaches me to keep my mind open to new learning by example. She always says, ‘Child is the father of man.’

Thanks to her encouragement I’ve come out of many rough patches of my life unscathed. She has always been there for me, always given good motherly advice. And even if I found it difficult to implement, she has always encouraged me to be unbiased and do the right thing.


But this isn’t all.
I’d be biased if I didn’t mention the second mother that God has blessed me with. My mother in law, Mrs. Jayanti Singh! Now let me be honest here, my mother in law and I didn’t really start off on the best foot. Today though I realize it was my misconception, but then I had obviously assumed she didn’t like me. But as time taught, I learnt. She taught me, how to make rotis, how to bargain, how a woman is the backbone in the making of a home from a house. These little gestures showed me the love she had for me.

When Ira was born, I remember, she would boil 2 liters of water with ‘ajwaine’ twice a day and religiously send it for me to drink so that Ira and I do not suffer from stomach aches. She got methi ladoos especially made for me. She’d cook me food so that I could relax. She goes to the temple and prays for me. She was my inspiration and my backbone of support when Ira was a year old and I got the opportunity to pursue my career further. She loves it when I dress up for an occasion, whether a marriage or a party and appreciates me for it, which makes me feel beautiful.

When I would came back from office in the evening, tired after travelling in the local trains, she’d make sure that the dinner is ready before I reach home. Especially on Thursdays when it is my ‘fast’, as soon as I reached home, she’d make me sit on the dining table and serve me even before the rest of the family ate. Any time of the day if I ever go to her place, she’s ready to cook and feed me. She knows I don’t really enjoy cooking so she lets me be.

When I’d go for my EMBA classes on Sunday, she’d look forward to taking care of Ira for me and cooking us a lunch. If I fared well in any of the projects or exams, she’d appreciate me making me feel proud of my achievements. Her say in my life matters a lot. Her smile has become a part of my life and I find it difficult to pass my day if I know she isn’t happy. She does so much for her kids (that includes me) that I feel honored when she asks me to help her out in anything. She makes me feel special by appreciating me in her friends. She loves to wear sarees chosen by me and loves to shop with me, thus appreciating my choice.


I do know that I’m a lucky person!
God couldn’t be there always for us so he gifted all of us a mom!
But I got a double deal out of him ;) (You see, I got good at bargaining) I got myself two moms.
Thank you moms.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Educated illiteracy


One day on a chat:
Indian1: wow, your tour snaps are great. Everyplace is beautiful, except India :(
Indian2: That's not fair, I love India n its beauty. Just because other places are new to us, they have a diff charm.
Indian1: lol, I meant clean
Indian2: yeah India will get cleaner day by day; it's up to us to not throw garbage on the roads
Indian1: where is de place on roads to throw anything, he he, jk. But yea you are right, India rocks.

Another Indian has stated her status to be: Once a Indian, always one...., cant grow out of it!!!!

The point is; are we ever going to grow out it? Out of being a typical Indian! We all love our country and want the best for our country and our countrymen so we always complain about the lack of cleanliness and need of better infrastructure. But do we contribute towards it? So dont we become educated illiterates?

No, I’m not in a mood to give a lecture about it, or for that matter play the blame game (uneducated people / lower class people create the litter) or the excuse game (I don’t want to litter on the road but I don’t have an option or how can I stop everyone else).

Nope, I would prefer to be practical and discuss ways in which it is genuinely possible for an Indian to behave as a literate and make our country litter free.
1. Doesn’t mean you have lecture around everyone throwing litter, but would help you could to encourage use of dustbins or garbage bags in your friend circle.
2. Carry your own garbage bag. That could be an inspiration to others.
3. Don’t just preach but use the dustbins available on the station platform and bus depots, even though it means walking a bit.
4. If there are no dustbins available and you really need to throw, look around for a corner where other’s like you have thrown the litter (spreading the litter has les chances of getting cleaned) A corner with litter has more chances of getting cleaned. (doesn’t mean u use it as an option always)
5. Behave like a literate, READ signboards and FOLLOW them. Following instructions is more than half the work done.

I don’t think it’s really so difficult to behave like a literate and not like a ‘LITTER’ate.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Arranged marriage VS Love marriage VS Bachelorhood




Arranged marriage VS Love marriage VS Bachelorhood

Mine was a love marriage. But I’m really not sure how much difference it made? I mean I feel arranged / love it’s all the same in the end. It’s marriage.


For e.g. You see a guy you get attracted to him, you like the way he makes you feel, the gifts, the galore, you get along and so you marry him.


Well, after marriage things change, suddenly the girl isn’t a girlfriend/fiancĂ© any more but a wife, and the boy isn't a boyfriend/fiancĂ© any more but a husband. She nags and he hates it. He expects n she hates it. Isn’t the end result the same in any kind of marriage: adjustment? So what’s the big difference in love and arranged marriages. Now look here we are in 2009, so let’s not discuss our parent’s marriages where in their arranged marriages they had not even seen each other till their marriage day, we are talking about the generation today.


Usually the criteria’s for selection for both types of marriage can be behaviour, physical chemistry, looks, family background and professional/financial background


A handsome/beautiful spouse : trust me give them 5 yrs and they’ll all have a paunch, and not cause they’ve put on some fats, it’s because of some loose muscles :P


A rich spouse: nowadays there are marraiges where the girls earn more than the guy, so I won’t take that into consideration.



Family background: Trust me with the kind of leverage our Indian government give to the so called backward class now people are profited if they are backward class



Behaviour: that’s never constant; it changes with change in everybody. So what colour a marriage can bring in a person’s behaviour the wisest can also not predict


Physical attraction: No comments on that dear, you can create and say whatever you like.


And yet I have friends my age and even elder to me complaining that they haven’t found the right guy/gal yet, and so they prefer bachelorhood. Who’s the right guy/gal? What’s a right guy/gal? It's all the same in the end!




Let's talk about bachelorhood? What’s the end result there? Guess you have a lot of freedom, but at the end of the day you either have the television / laptop / mobile / book / dog for your company! Eating alone, no one to ask how am I looking just after checking yourself in the mirror! You depend for your daily piece of conversation/argument on your friends and their free time. Isn't all this adjustment too?


So what’s left except adjustments!! Guess that’s what life’s about? It’s all about 4 people sitting on a bench meant for 3, about going to school in your dad’s car but having to get down and walk before you reach school cause there’s a traffic jam, it about eating a bhelpuri cause the panipuri’s are over, it’s about studying a subject you hate cause it’s a compulsory subject in the curriculum, it’s about going to a mall cause now garden don’t have friends to play with, it’s about being friends with someone you don’t like so much cause s/he lives close to your place, it’s about sacrificing everyday homemade food cause you’ve had to relocate for a better job, it’s about coming home to a lonely apartment cause you don’t want to compromise your life with another person, it’s about tolerating the boss cause the pay is too good, it’s about loving another person cause you want to be loved back.

So tell me who wins the debate?


Arranged marriage VS Love marriage VS Bachelorhood